What is it that fuels you? For me it is writing! I love to write about my passions and experiences. Writing is a solace for my soul. I only write scribbles from my heart and hope they'll make sense to you.
To the boy I ever loved, our crushing moments may be old but they are golden and glittering. They are engraved in the deepest part of my heart in memories. I’ll forever cherish them like a precious treasure. The experiences with you was a journey to this Amazing woman I am now. I’m sorry I was too selfish that I thought my love was enough to keep us but I guess it couldn’t even save us or made us stay. All the sacrifices I made didn’t really change anything.
Some I regret, others I simply let it pass. I guess It is what it is. Thank you for breaking my heart countlessly. Honestly, I don’t blame you because I really did love you. I only blame time for bringing us together when we were not ready. Maybe we fell in love at the wrong time. Maybe if we hadn’t been too fast about everything, it would have been better. Those moments taught me how best to love myself better and harder. Those heartbreaks became stepping stones to a better version of me. Those heartbreaks built this Amazing person!!! It taught me to be far better and stronger because the journey of love isn’t for the faint-hearted.
I’m sorry you grew cold feet to walk away even when you knew you no longer felt the same way again. I wish you did rather than hurting me every time you said ‘I love you. ‘ Bittersweet as they were, I’m grateful I met you. Though, I wish I had met you in my present mental and emotional state. Maybe we wouldn’t have gone through all that pain and heartaches. Regardless of how it all turned out, I still love you sincerely. I hope you find the woman of your dreams and love her better than you ever did with me
Mirror, mirror on the wall What do you see? Every time you look in the mirror, You stare at yourself with horror. You watch it play out your scars and scabs. Your imperfections only stare back at you. “Why don’t I have a sexier body?” “Fat” is all you see. “Shapeless” romances your thoughts. Like an horror movie, the scenes pierces deep and stings you with self- hate. You wish you can undress your body And wear the one you envisage. Beyond the horrifying scenes, beyond what the mirror displays lies a priceless beauty. If only you can see it!
When I say I love you what comes to your mind? Beyond reasons, I’ve come to love you. Is it how the glow in your eyes is nothing compared to what the sun basks in? Is it how your charm leaves the world wowed and asking? Or how the blend of your melanin glitters brighter than gold tested in fire? Or how the echo of your voice sweeps through me and awakes every desire? You’re not just a question but an answer my heart has found. When I say I love you, it’s just everything about you for me. I do not mean the love wrapped in the bosom of love letters & everything just to make you smile. I do not mean the love coated with sugar icings and toppings just to win you for a while. I do not mean the love tucked in perfectly behind a facade that drips with lust. I do not mean the love that burns with desperation to have you at all cost.
I do not mean the love that escapes when life hits hard and things go sour. It’s a love that will always be there and against the harsh wind, it will be a cure. I do not mean the love buried in insincere promises of heaven on earth. It’s a love that’s ready to spend now and forever with you even in death. I do not mean the love raining with reasons & reasons that won’t stand the test of time. When I say I love you, it goes beyond the unquenchable desire to just make you mine. My love for you stands endless and timeless It’s a love with the slogan “forever begins and ends with you.” My love for you speaks fluency and understanding even in your silence. It’s a love that stands unshakeable and sure because it is true. My love for you is one that’ll turn your hell to a safe haven. It’s a love where you can breathe deeply a relief that says “This is home!” My love for you is unconditional and without reasons that’ll make it end. My love for you is only for YOU!
I am a map of scars running with broken tears and lines. I am made of beautiful broken pieces! Pieces, broken by hurts and scabs. Pieces, shattered by pain and hate. Like an art, each piece of my brokenness formed a picture pattern that made me a mosaic. A beautiful masterpiece!!
Love isn’t always what it seems, is it? Back at the beginning, when we exchanged eyes. We didn’t need reasons to fall in love. We just did! At the end came reasons. Endless reasons that suddenly caged our emotions in a prison. Since then, it has been reasons. Reasons and reasons.
I haven’t seen or talked to you in a long while Neither felt the magic you glow when you smile But a part of me just wishes to see you again. Just maybe, it will ease the weight of this pain But that wish seems to be nothing but a void And everything we’ve lost crashes down on me again and again. It simply kills me!
How did we become strangers? How is it that you don’t miss me when I don’t call? This is not regret! It is just me lingering on what we shared before the reasons came. It is just me saying…….. I hope you’re great? I hope you’ve found that perfect love without reasons. I hope it is all what ours couldn’t be.